Free Floating

What would it feel like if it never mattered if anyone agreed with your opinions or positions? If every time you voiced a thought or took an action, there was no concern for how it was received, if you just enjoyed having and sharing it because it was yours? Can you imagine being completely uninvested in whether or not someone thought you were smart, relevant, correct, or even kind? WHOA! Freedom!!!

This question came to me as I worked with cutting cords of attachment, i.e. energy exchanges created between ourselves and others. It occurred to me that any investment or need for a return on our interaction (thoughts, words, ideas, positions, etc.) has to do with giving power to another through needing something from them: approval, love, acceptance, safety, position, power, etc. This is completely different than a free exchange of opinions and ideas, which is great. I'm talking about the need for those ideas to be received in a particular light, which is brokering an exchange of power, and which always costs us (and them!). This energy exchange is also rooted in a lack of unconditional love for ourselves. If we fully loved ourselves, would it ever matter if someone agreed with our position? Would we need the power of their approval if we gave it fully to ourselves 100% of the time?

As I played with this, walking along with the dogs and my husband, talking about this and that, I felt my energy patterns come apart. What had moments earlier been a taught string of underlying strategy was now a bunch of loose ends blowing chaotically in the wind. WOW. So much energy running in those cords, in those needs. I felt shaky, like my blood sugar had suddenly plummeted. So I breathed. I grounded myself energetically into the core of the earth and into the vastness of the heavens. I opened to that crazy, unhinging sensation saying, "More. Yes. I'm having this."

As I thought of sharing this with you, I looked through my heart pictures folder (which now numbers nearly 1,400 :) and saw this one from a recent trip to the Little North Fork of the Santiam river. A point of heart light floating in space surrounded by a thousand river jewels, simply being its brilliance amidst the incredible beauty of the rest of the world. I love you.